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Those People: Bilford

When Bilford passes by, he knows you're talking about him. He's usually fine with it because he makes more money than you, and he can use that money to get rid of you, but, really , you shouldn't talk about people in hushed whispers because it's just impolite.  Miss Manners would simply roll over in her grave.  It's not his  fault he was born with just one. Single. Giant. Eye.  His genealogy stems from that of Greek Mythology. You probably didn't catch that episode of "Finding Your Roots" on PBS.  Throughout life, he's always been depth-of-field-challenged, and although it's all he's ever known, he can drive a Go Cart better than any Mario, Luigi or Toad.  So, hush. Plus, he's about to enter his ninth year as a NASCAR race car driver. He makes more money than you. You probably already work for him, and you have no eye-dea. I mean...idea.  He'll look the other way at all your eye jokes, except for one: he will  tell you that he has h

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