Not by egg whites alone

For the past few weekends, I've been working on my fried egg game.

I've been eating things with fried egg on top. The whole purpose is to break the egg yolk and let it drizzle all over, creating a type of sauce.

I've had a fried egg over french fries cooked in duck fat and Parmesan. I've had a fried egg as a component to a hamburger.

The yolk adds a richness that amps up the flavor.

I feel bad for people who only cook with egg whites. Like, I get it. Health or whatever. Even if I get back into some kind of workout groove, I'm not giving up the egg yolk.

It's too versatile.

It's the secret in a decadent egg nog. It's the reason creme brulee is what it is.

I need a sign in my kitchen that says "not by egg whites alone."

Knowing how a yolk can transform whatever it's on, I decided to make something my dad loves. I used to eat it as a kid, and then I decided it was gross, but then, for some reason, I returned to it. I'm not sure where my aversion came from, but I think it goes along with being a bit ageist.

I thought eggs on toast was for old people.

I'm getting older, so apparently it's time to enjoy food like that again.

Soon, I'll be rubbing myself up with Aspercreme and wearing my Life Alert necklace.

The first attempt of the fried egg, I cracked my eggs into the large pan, and I just let them go. I figured it wouldn't take too long, but I waited, and I waited, and I waited. The egg whites on top closest to the yolk dome weren't cooking. They continued to stay translucent.

I didn't want raw egg. I tried flipping them over to make them over-easy, but I mutilated the eggs, and in the process, exposed some of the yolks to the hot pan, cooking them solid.

I placed them over my toast, but it was too late. Too much of the yolk was cooked through. My eggs weren't saucy enough.

It was too dry.

The second week was much of the same. They were saucier, but I had cooked the yolk too long. It was the consistency of a deviled egg.

Why didn't I look up how to cook a fried egg online? People, I can pasteurize my own eggs. I can make mayonnaise from scratch. I can separate egg white and eggs with just the shell.

I mean, how hard is it to fry an egg?

After two attempts and batting zeroes...I realized my answer.


I needed assistance. I looked up some secrets to the perfect fried egg, and I found the perfect solution to the egg whites on top.

Steam them.

Once most of the egg were cooked and the yolk dome was still runny, I added a tablespoon of water to the pan and covered the eggs, allowing the steam to cook the tops of the eggs.

Two weeks in a row, and I've cooked fried eggs to perfection.

No little over-cooked yolk bits. All sauce.

Some salt and pepper, and a toasted slice of honey wheat bread becomes a decadent brunch.

Eggs on toast aren't for old people.

Not any more.

Now, let's hope I don't start craving prune juice.