Snowed In with Lard Cookies, Part 2

After midnight, a gray darkness settled over the state of Indiana and an all-consuming snow storm sat down like a fat man on top of a box of flour. With gas, because it keeps blowing. The roads are covered, scooped up by the road crew trucks, and then the roads get covered all over again.

I awoke, with my anxiety of course, to a land as white as glue. And the snow's going to stick awhile because it's so gosh-dern-cold out there. I shoveled the driveway with the mindset of a warrior, because dammit I was not going to miss "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" down in Indy. But I took the Beetle out and traversed not-so-far, and decided, well...maybe driving two hours just to get to a show (if we even made it) was a tad ridiculous. So, we opted to call mom and tell her that being snowed in was giving our original plans for the day a handicap.

I'm still sick, too. Nothing like going to a Broadway show with some dude yacking all over the place. I did that once before. A friend and I went to see "Jerry Maguire" and the whole time I hacked and hacked and chocked. People around me must've loved that movie...till this day, they are probably saying, "Remember when we saw that movie and the guy just hacked up a lung? It landed on me and ruined my new sweater."

So, lard icing is awaiting us. We baked the lard cookies and, just wait, the lard icing has a ton of Crisco in it, too. My eyes widened when I first saw that in the recipe. I was shocked at how much lard went into the icing...until I realized oh,'s vegetable shortening, not lard.

But they're still lard cookies in my heart...but not bad for your heart.


Unknown said… you were the guy coughing on that bootleg copy of Jerry Maquire. was that your cell phone that kept ringing too?