Kids Say the Darndest Things

So, after a rough year last year (three principals, being asked down to the principal's office for numerous journalism items -- the major "Evan, there are too many errors in this middle school book), I deserve a fairly decent year this year. And so I get it.

The kids weren't very funny last year, either. I usually have a few stories, but last year I was bone dry...

...my nails need to be cut...typing right now is difficult...

...so finally, I have some good ones to share:

• I got a hair cut a couple of weeks ago. I went from longer, flowy locks bleached sexy-blonde by the sun, to a very, very short 'do. The next day, my sixth graders looked at me and one said: "Mr. Williams got a haircut and he looks smaller."
• During an activity for my sixth grade beginning journalism class, I turn the sound off on the TV and we watch. Then we "watch" with our eyes closed. We describe both situations and they pick the best one. I didn't have my cable set up on my TV yet (after two years of being in a new room...). I was able to get a few local channels and as I was passing by a soap opera, a woman was inaudibly yelling at some man, when a sixth grader spoke up and said: "Wow, she's a screamer."
• The annual "What are you going to be for Halloween" discussion came up with my seventh graders and one kid said how his mom couldn't find his original costume, so she bought him a pimp costume. When he finished his story about being a pimp for Halloween, a kid called out: "Do you have a leash?"
• My favorite: an eighth grader was talking during class and another one yelled out how the talking-kid was a dousche. Sadly, the word "dousche" and the kid's name rhymed.