Tax Warrant
As I'm watching The New Adventures of Old Christine on CBS, or as Steph calls it, The New Adventures of Old Me (because I'm a social mess in public and if you watch Julia Louise Dreyfus in it, that's exactly how I act in public), I get a phone call from my mom. She is a bit panicked and she tells me that a tax warrant was sent to their house for me.
"It says you owe $7,000," she said.
My forehead dampened. My eyes became bloodshot. Dinner lost it's appeal. My CBS comedies just weren't as funny anymore (Well, Two and A Half Men is never funny, but...).
I am not a seedy character when it comes to my taxes, but I am bit absent minded when paying taxes for my business.
Last November, I received a similar letter from the government telling me that I owed $7,068. This was a frightening figure, but realizing my actual sales and a late fee, I went downtown and paid only $18. You think I would've learned my lesson, but no! I didn't. I just kept putting off the whole "paying your taxes" thing. It's so overrated, isn't it? Until you receive this:
No wonder my mom was freaked out. All red text telling me I'm going to rot in tax hell and that I need to contact a sheriff, I mean -- a sheriff? Am I really that bad of a person that I need to contact a sheriff?
After arriving at my parents' house to pick up the letter, I called the Indiana Deptartment of Revenue and was spun in phone circles:
"If you want to know why you have a tax warrant, please press 1. If you want to see how much the pope pays in taxes, please press 2. If you want forms sent to your house by a mule, please press 3. If you want a mug from the Indiana Dept. of Revenue, please press 4..."
It took about ten minutes to finally get a human on the phone and when she picked up, I screamed "Hallelujah" and asked if she was a robot, and she replied, "I don't like Posh Spice, thank you."
Again, I drove all the way downtown, fed the meter and paid my taxes, late again. The warrant was revoked and I can sleep easy. It's just a sick wake-up call, especially when my business only made $11.75 last year. I technically owed $.70, but with my $.02 interest and my late fee...I ended up costing myself $5.72.
Will I do this again? I wrote on my Far Side calendar, from this month until Decemenber "Pay your 2008 sales taxes before Jan.!" just to remind myself to never do this again.
"It says you owe $7,000," she said.
My forehead dampened. My eyes became bloodshot. Dinner lost it's appeal. My CBS comedies just weren't as funny anymore (Well, Two and A Half Men is never funny, but...).
I am not a seedy character when it comes to my taxes, but I am bit absent minded when paying taxes for my business.
Last November, I received a similar letter from the government telling me that I owed $7,068. This was a frightening figure, but realizing my actual sales and a late fee, I went downtown and paid only $18. You think I would've learned my lesson, but no! I didn't. I just kept putting off the whole "paying your taxes" thing. It's so overrated, isn't it? Until you receive this:
No wonder my mom was freaked out. All red text telling me I'm going to rot in tax hell and that I need to contact a sheriff, I mean -- a sheriff? Am I really that bad of a person that I need to contact a sheriff?After arriving at my parents' house to pick up the letter, I called the Indiana Deptartment of Revenue and was spun in phone circles:
"If you want to know why you have a tax warrant, please press 1. If you want to see how much the pope pays in taxes, please press 2. If you want forms sent to your house by a mule, please press 3. If you want a mug from the Indiana Dept. of Revenue, please press 4..."
It took about ten minutes to finally get a human on the phone and when she picked up, I screamed "Hallelujah" and asked if she was a robot, and she replied, "I don't like Posh Spice, thank you."
Again, I drove all the way downtown, fed the meter and paid my taxes, late again. The warrant was revoked and I can sleep easy. It's just a sick wake-up call, especially when my business only made $11.75 last year. I technically owed $.70, but with my $.02 interest and my late fee...I ended up costing myself $5.72.
Will I do this again? I wrote on my Far Side calendar, from this month until Decemenber "Pay your 2008 sales taxes before Jan.!" just to remind myself to never do this again.
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