Death to the Diva

di-va [dee-vuh, vah]: an annoying person of the dramatics community, usually female, but can be male (see divo). The world supposedly spins on an axis because of this person, which makes their characteristics easy to despise. They are over dramatic and see others, compared to themselves, as small and untalented. Simply put, they suck-o.

Steph works with such a person. Even though I've only come in contact with this person a few times, I am ready to throw a brick at her face at a moment's notice. It has been mentioned how I very rarely like being around those of the theater community, odd since I enjoy going to shows immensely. But they can't seem to turn this ability off -- so eating lunch with them is like watching "As the World Turns."

As Steph worked on curriculum today, the dee-vuh (the choral teacher) was on the other side of the room looking up her music. So, for two hours, she sang (quietly?) music to herself. People said things, but since she was in her own sound proof room, she didn't hear them, "I am working on my curriculum..."

"You don't have to sing it out loud, you toad!"

"But I have a pretty voice, and the other teachers don't mind it..."

"Like hell they don't mind it!"

And since I carry a brick with me everywhere I go -

POW! Sing with a deviated septum! Clear your throat with nose-blood pouring into your mouth! Take that! And THAT! AND THAT!

Aaaah, much better. Silence is golden.


Anonymous said…
In these times of divas and dumbasses it's nice to know that somebody is carrying around a brick, ready to deviate a septum or two. :)
I think I got burned since my roommate my junior year of college was a theater major...

I got a heavy dose then. Since then, I've been carrying bricks just in case.